David Harbour And Lily Allen Just Had A Seriously Sweet Conversation About Lily’s “Complicated Feelings” Toward Her Self-Image

For context, the two first met through the exclusive celebrity dating app Raya back in 2019, and got married in a Las Vegas ceremony in September 2020.

They currently live in Brooklyn, New York, with Lily’s two daughters from her marriage to Sam Cooper, 12-year-old Ethel and 11-year-old Marnie. 

Earlier this year, Lily and her best friend Miquita Oliver launched a new podcast, Miss Me?, where they speak candidly about their personal lives. Last week, Lily got real about her and David’s marriage.

After explaining that David is often away from home due to his filming commitments, Lily said they keep the magic alive by sending one another “flirty messages.”

“I feel like absence makes the heart grow fonder,” Lily explained at the time. “We do FaceTime a lot, and sometimes it feels like it gets a little bit too much, and then we’ll have, like, a couple of days, a few days, not talking at all, and it’s great.”

However, Lily and David were evidently not in a no-speaking patch when she recorded this week’s episode of Miss Me?, with the actor making a surprise cameo in Monday’s installment of the podcast.

After telling David that she was recording the podcast, Lily asked him: “Do you think I’m beautiful?”

“Yeah,” David immediately replied. “Is this an intense podcast, though? You seem a little intense.”

“We’re talking about beauty today, so yeah, I have complicated feelings around it,” Lily confirmed. 

“Oh, fucks you up, OK,” David replied as he laughed awkwardly. “I think you’re beautiful, yes. Do you think you’re beautiful?”

“Yeah, I have struggles with it,” Lily agreed. “What do you think the most beautiful thing about me is?”

“Erm, physically or emotionally or mentally or spiritually?” David asked, and when Lily said that the listener hadn’t specified, he continued: “The most beautiful about you then is your commitment to others. Like, your commitment to expressing something that makes people feel less alone, that brings people together.”

“It’s in your music, it’s in your podcast,” he continued. “That ideology, that spirit in you, is the most beautiful thing about you.”

“It is nice,” Lily agreed. “He is my little cheerleader; I do love him for that.”

She then explained that she struggled to answer the question herself because of her deep-rooted self-loathing.

“What do I think is the most beautiful thing about myself?” she wondered aloud. “I’m just so full of self-hatred, I find it so hard. I’d just be making up some bullshit if I said it.”

Lily was just 21 years old at the time, and said: “I found it really shocking, actually, when I became successful and was written about, and my photographs were taken, how derogatory people could be about the way that I looked.”

“And I think it actually harks back to the previous question a little bit,” she admitted. “I feel like the reason I can't tell you what I think is beautiful about myself is because I've had to completely dissociate from having thoughts about it.”

“It’s the way that I’ve had to cope with it to protect myself,” Lily added. “Reading the horrible things that people have said about not just my appearance, but my character — there's a running commentary on how awful I am all the time, and the way I deal with it is just to, like, detach.”

Miquita said that it was “so upsetting” to hear that her friend feels this way about herself, and observed that Lily seems to be “downtrodden” by the negative comments she regularly faces, which Lily agreed with.