Lottie Tomlinson Shared Painful Details Of How She And Her Brother Louis Tomlinson Desperately Tried To Help Their Sister Félicité Before Her Tragic Death At Age 18

Lottie has bravely opened up about her mom and sister’s tragic deaths in her heartbreaking new memoir.

By
Stephanie Soteriou
by Stephanie Soteriou

BuzzFeed Staff

One Direction star Louis Tomlinson’s younger sister Lottie Tomlinson has bravely opened up about their family tragedies in her new book, Lucky Girl: Family, Falling and Finding My Way.

Lottie Tomlinson in an elegant red and black halter dress poses on the BAFTA television red carpet
Joe Maher / Getty Images

The 25-year-old influencer has shared deeply personal insight into her mom and sister’s tragic deaths less than three years apart in her bid to help others navigate grief.


For context, in December 2016, Louis and Lottie’s mom, Johannah Deakin, died just eight months after being diagnosed with leukemia.


Johannah was 43 years old, and left behind seven children: 24-year-old Louis, 18-year-old Lottie, 16-year-old Félicité, 12-year-old twins Phoebe and Daisy, and two-year-old twins Doris and Ernest. 


Then, in March 2019, tragedy struck the family again when Félicité died from an accidental drug overdose at just 18 years old. 

And in Lucky Girl, Lottie recalls how she and Louis desperately tried to save their little sister after noticing that she had gone down a bad path while struggling to cope with the loss of their mom.

Louis Tomlinson in a casual jacket and jeans, and Lottie Tomlinson in a black bralette and white pants, posing at a Matchbox event backdrop
David M. Benett via Getty

As the oldest two children, Lottie says that she and Louis tried to support all of their siblings as much as they could while also processing their own grief, and were especially concerned about Félicité, who she affectionately calls “Fizz.”


While Daisy and Phoebe moved in with their grandparents after their mom’s death, and Doris and Ernest remained with their dad, Félicité chose to return to her London boarding school. 


Lottie notes that their mom never would have chosen to have any of her children go to boarding school, but honored Félicité’s wishes when she asked to transfer to one a couple of years earlier.


Following Johannah’s death, Lottie started to receive calls from the school saying that she hadn’t returned or had missed curfew. 

“I think that was the first time I realized how bad the situation was with Fizz, and as time went on, we noticed her distancing herself from the family or going missing for a few days and not responding to messages,” Lottie writes. “We could also see that Fizz was starting to hang around people who we didn’t think were a good influence on her.”

Lottie and Felicite Tomlinson
Dave Benett via Getty

Lottie says that she and Louis then realized that Fizz was taking drugs while partying more, adding: “She seemed to be doing anything she could to escape the pain of losing the only person who ever understood her.”


Keen to relieve some of the pressure from their grandparents, the two siblings took it upon themselves to try and get Félicité the help she needed.


“Louis and I were doing everything we could to stage interventions, and as far as Nan and Granddad were concerned, Louis and I decided not to worry them too much because they had the big twins to look after,” Lottie writes. “They were also from an older generation and we didn't think they'd have understood the nature of what Fizz was going through or how she was dealing with it.”


“That's not to say that Louis and I could understand what Fizz was going through either,” she adds. “Neither of us had the kind of mental health issues or dependence on drugs that our baby sister had.”

Lottie says that she and Louis “really had to dig deep” to try to understand their sister, and admits that they both “went through stages of frustration” because they were so desperate for her “to be healthy and happy.”

Eventually, Félicité was asked to leave her boarding school, and while Lottie invited her to move into her London apartment, Félicité declined. 

“She didn’t want that knowing that she wouldn’t have the freedom to escape in the ways she knew how,” Lottie explains. “I found it hard that she didn’t want my help, even if what I was offering wasn’t going to solve her problems. At the end of the day, I wasn’t Mum, I couldn’t give her what she needed, but it obviously didn’t stop me from trying.”

Félicité ended up temporarily moving in with One Direction’s former hair and makeup artist and Tomlinson family friend Lou Teasdale, and Lottie tried to get her sister on the right path by arranging work for her.

She and Louis also encouraged Félicité to see a therapist, but after one meeting with one, she refused to go back. They also sent their sister to rehab “a couple of times,” although Lottie admits that she “never thought” the issue was to do with addiction.

“I’ve always felt she turned to drugs because of her grief,” she writes. “Because it offered her a temporary release. We sent her there thinking we could get her back onto a good path, and after those stints, she’d come out a more positive person, but it was only a matter of time before she reverted to the only way she knew how to cope.”

Louis Tomlinson in a black suit and tie, with his mother Johannah Deakin in a black dress and gold clutch, smiling together at a formal event
Dave J Hogan / Getty Images

And while Lou was happy to keep Félicité at her house full-time, Félicité moved into her own apartment after her last stint in rehab. Lottie recalls: “That’s when she started slipping from all of us. We couldn’t really keep track of her after that.”


In March 2019, Lottie had a trip to Bali booked with her then-boyfriend. While she offered to stay behind, Félicité insisted she was OK and encouraged her to go. Three days into the trip, Lottie heard that Félicité had gone missing. 


She then details sitting on her hotel balcony when she received a call from Louis to tell her that their sister had died. 


“I just remember screaming because it was the worst news I could’ve ever heard,” Lottie writes. 


She describes the pain as “all consuming,” and says that despite Félicité’s obvious struggles, she “never thought we would lose her.”

Lottie says that the subsequent “invasive” media storm that followed Félicité’s death “added another sad level to our already awful grief” as she recalled the way that the public seemingly judged Félicité for taking drugs.

“So many people were quick to judge Fizz without fully understanding the situation, or the pain she had been through,” she says. 

Lottie goes on to say that she started to see a therapist for the first time after the tragedy, and it was then that she realized that she also hadn’t processed her mom’s death.

Offering a glimmer of hope to others who have been bereaved, Lottie acknowledges that she once thought that she would never experience happiness again. 

While she still misses her mom and sister every day, Lottie says that she has created a beautiful life with her family, and even goes so far as to consider herself “lucky” in spite of all of her hardships.

Elsewhere in Lucky Girl, Lottie opens up about the tragic death of her mom, details the two years that she spent on tour with One Direction when she was just 16 years old, recalls how her family’s life changed with Louis’s ascent to superstardom, and shares how she carved a successful influencer career for herself.

Lottie also offers readers plenty of incredibly valuable tools and advice for navigating grief, and discusses her role as an ambassador for Sue Ryder, a bereavement support charity. 

Lucky Girl: Family, Falling and Finding My Way by Lottie Tomlinson is available to buy now.

The National Alliance on Mental Illness helpline is 1-800-950-6264 (NAMI) and provides information and referral services; GoodTherapy.org is an association of mental health professionals from more than 25 countries who support efforts to reduce harm in therapy.

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